Black Relationships

Dr. Sinclair N. Grey III – 8 Ways To Manage Conflict In A Relationship

Every relationship will eventually face some kind of conflict. Because you’re bringing two people together with different perspectives and points of view, you’re bound to have conflict. However, this conflict doesn’t have to turn violent. In a real sense, when you know how to work through your conflict, the stronger your relationship will be.

With so much attention on domestic abuse/violence, what has been overlooked and neglected is how to resolve a conflict. All of us should know that violence is never the answer. No matter if a person says their partner provokes them, violence should never be initiated, condoned, tolerated, or justified. There’s no plausible excuse a person can use to justify resorting to a physical altercation. Managing conflict is important to the health of any relationship.

Here are a few ways in which you can manage conflict in any relationship:

  1. Listen to your partner. While this may sound easy to some people, the difficulty most people have with this is that they hear words but never really comprehend what’s being said. Without listening to your partner’s concerns, you’ll fail to understand what’s going on

  2. Respect your partner’s point of view. Even though you may not agree with it, you must never dismiss it. If it’s important to them, then it’s important for you to respect it

  3. Use eye contact. Failing to look your partner in their eyes while they’re communicating their concern(s) to you shows them you’re not considerate of their feelings

  4. Remove your emotions from the conflict. Being emotionally attached to a conflict can lead to words being said that are taken out of context. In addition to this, emotions will cloud sound reasoning and judgment

  5. Be willing to compromise. You cannot be right all the time. Through compromise, you’re allowing your partner to feel valued and appreciated

  6. Deal with the problem and work towards a solution. The mistake many people make when engaged in conflict is that they bring up other issues that don’t pertain to the immediate conflict. Address the conflict at hand and find a solution that you and your partner can work towards

  7. Have a cooling down period. If you feel as though you’re being too emotionally fueled in the conflict, ask your partner to give you some time to clear your mind. Once you remove yourself (physically) from the conflict, go for a walk, meditate, or listen to some relaxing music to calm yourself down. Do not engage in alcohol, drugs, or social media

  8. Commit yourself to working things out. If you like, love, and care about your partner, you will do what’s necessary to bring about peace and tranquility to any conflict. It’s not about doing what seems to be popular; it’s about doing what’s right.

This is only a snapshot of what can be done through conflict resolution. I need to mention this important point – when you and your partner have conflict, keep your issues at home. The moment you allow others to get in your business is the moment you invite chaos and more controversy.

Dr. Sinclair Grey III is a minister, speaker, author, and success coach. Contact him on or Twitter @drsinclairgrey

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