Black Relationships

Dr. Sinclair N. Grey III – 4 Signs Of A Deadbeat Mate

Single people need to be careful of who they decide to date. Let me say it this way. Dating the right person can be beneficial to your mind, body, soul, and career. However, if you decide to hook up with the wrong person, you’ll find yourself living in hell. That’s right, the wrong person will mess you up in more ways than you can think.

Single people (defined here, as not married) who are serious about doing positive and productive things in life can’t afford to date someone who is jealous, envious, or insecure. Successful people have a vision and are committed to working towards fulfilling it. On the other hand, jealous, envious, and insecure people will bring drama, nonsense, and foolishness to your life. Why risk and/or jeopardize your future by dating someone who is beneath you?

It’s easy to overlook red flags in the beginning of any relationship. Think about it for a moment – it’s new and exciting. Sadly and shamefully, too many people have ruined their lives because they decided to date a ‘clown.’ All the signs were there, but they let love blind them to what really was. Can we be honest for a moment and say life is too short to be dating someone who ain’t going nowhere and don’t want to go anywhere?

Here are some signs to watch out for in dating a deadbeat:

  1. Always questioning you about your goals and aspirations. If your partner is constantly questioning you about having lofty goals, that’s a potential sign of insecurity. When you keep moving up the ladder of success, they will feel left out and in retaliation, they will make you feel bad for wanting more.

  1. Questioning your professional network. When the person you’re dating makes sarcastic comments/remarks about the people you network with, that’s a sign of future hinderance. If you want to get ahead in life, you have to meet the right people who can help you. Remember, it’s not always what you know, but who you know that will open doors for you. Dating someone who is insecure of your professional circle will cause you trouble and become a career burden to you.

  1. Hindering you from personal and professional development. This is huge because the moment you stifle your growth, you’ve settled for settling. Never and I mean never become so content with where you are that you stop growing. Remaining stagnant will only drain you and deplete you of anything and everything.

  1. Prohibiting you from seeking new and better opportunities. If someone really cares about you, they only want the best for you. Selfishness is toxic and unhealthy. The moment you give into your partners toxicity, you’ll become complacent with ‘just being.’

For some, being single can be a lonely feeling, but I promise you this – hooking up with the wrong person will deter you and distract you from becoming all the YOU that YOU can be. I want you to ask yourself this question – how important is my life, my mind, my body, and my career? Choose the right mate and allow the BEST to manifest itself.

Dr. Sinclair Grey III is a speaker, author of The ABC’s of Making Business Networking Work For You and success coach. Contact him at, or on Twitter @drsinclairgrey

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