Is it OK to still be friends with your ex? My partner and I recently went to lunch with my ex and his new wife. While my ex and I were good with it (we’ve been ‘just friends’ now for about four years), our other halves could probably have done without it. My ex’s wife sat and glared at me most of the time, while my partner did admit he thought it a little weird. When I asked him why, he suggested that some people may have issues with the following:
1. Jealousy – Your ex will always know something about you that your current partner doesn’t. And that’s okay – you share a history. But when your ex remembers how you like your coffee, or can make you laugh with one word, your current partner could feel left out and just a wee bit jealous. After all, isn’t your current partner supposed to know how to do all that?
2. Secrets and Inside Jokes- It may be perceived that the two of you have secrets you haven’t shared when you begin mentioning events of the past. You could be sharing special words that only have meaning to the two of you, or tell each other jokes that only you and your ex could possibly understand.
By doing this, you are giving the impression of intimacy to those around you. Not a good look when you are both committed to someone else.
3. Reminiscing – When you two start reminiscing about the past and share stories of happy times, it doesn’t go over too well. Your partner will begin feeling left out and wonder why you are only remembering the happy times. You and your ex won’t recall all the events that led to your demise as a couple, which are probably the kind of stories you have shared with your partner in the past. This causes confusion.